Mar 04 2009
Lessons learned from horror films
Some of the smartest people ever portrayed in film are in horror movies. Despite common sense and facing certain doom, these people always know exactly what to do to remain safe and breathing. Following their cues can help you if you ever find yourself in a situation where a crazed killer/demon/
zombie is on the loose and
after you.
Have sex
First of all, the best activity is to have lots of sex. In fact, any activity that has to do with being naked, partially naked or scantily clad will do, including bathing, swimming, playing strip poker or even going to bed. Generally, the rule is the more skin that’s showing, the better.
Be a hero
If you are in a desolate location and your friends keep disappearing, go out and look for them. There’s only a slight chance that you’re the last one. Plus, they might really need your help.
Go gravedigging
Let’s say for instance, you stumble upon an ancient burial ground or mummy’s tomb. It would be beneficial to look through the dead person’s belongings, rustle around and steal anything you can and read any malicious looking ancient curses. Poetry and jewels, score!
Sleep
When panic arises in your town, instead of getting yourself a Red Bull and reading up on the art of self-defense, or better yet, celibacy, take a nice, long nap. Everybody knows you can’t die in your dreams.
Run like a buffoon
Do not take logs, large roots, abandoned tires or any other debris that may cause you to fall into consideration when running for your life from a crazed serial killer. Also, turning around to see how close the killer is will definitely help you get away faster.
Break and enter
If there is a creepy house in your neighborhood, staying the night in it will most certainly make you cool - even cooler if you go there with your significant other
(wink, wink).
Do drugs
Drinking heavily or taking drugs in large, open spaces like cornfields or woods is a great way to have an intense experience. Danger does not seem as scary when there are pretty, swirly colors, man.
Forget about cell phones
When phoning the authorities, use the landline, especially if it requires leaving the building you’re in. Don’t worry, the storm won’t affect the power, and the line most certainly won’t be cut. If all else fails, try Verizon.
Trust Strangers
Hillbillies are always friendly, hospitable people. Villagers come in second.
Children can always be trusted, especially the innocent ones that sing nursery rhymes.
Get away from it all
When looking for a house or even a vacation spot, choose a nice, quiet location. If it’s too far for the killer to walk, he’ll surely give up. Also, don’t bother looking into the history of the house. If anything bad happened there, the past is the past.
Be punctual
After deciding to split up from your group of people, announce that you will “be right back.” It works like a charm.
Take these life-saving tips into consideration and continue to learn from horror movies. They are the most subliminal way to teach moral life lessons. Following these rules may not only help to save your life, but also help you to star in your very own horror flick one day.
Source - http://media.www.westerncourier.com
